United States Recovers From Economic Crisis

Breaking News! According to sources, the short lived economic crisis in the United States came to an abrupt end today. Fortunately, a comprehensive plan was set forth that will save America from economic ruin. First of all, our national debt is in the billions. An undisclosed source said the new plan is to throw these bills away, pretend like they never existed, and start with a clean slate. Before the White House was able to change their phone number, they were reportedly receiving numerous calls from ruthless collectors from China, and authorities believe they may have thrown them off track by telling them they had the wrong number. In addition, the 28 billion in monetary aid the United States is providing to the rest of the world, will stop effective immediately. Instead, this will be turned over to American citizens to buy more stuff. The only stipulation will be that you can only buy stuff made in America. Following the Chinese role model, we will soon stop buying goods from around the world, and everything sold here will be made in America. Oh, yes we can!