Tapeworm Trap Invention

From the Scientific American, 1855.

"The engraving is a view of a trap and process for removing tape worms from the human stomach and intestines, for which trap and process two patents were granted to Dr. Alpheus Myers, of Logansport, Indiana, on the 14th of last November, (1854). The tapeworm, or Taenia, receives its name from its resemblance to a mason's tape. It is the worst of the various species of worms which afflict the human family. Some of them are exceedingly long; they vary from a few feet to 20, 30, 50, and even 100 feet. The removal of the tapeworm from the human body has always been a desideratum with physicians. The above figure certainly represents an original and ingenious method for removing them, and, Dr. Myers, not long since, removed one 50 feet in length, from a patient, who, since then, has had a new lease on life."

Tapeworm Trap Patent

United States Patent Office
ALPHEUS MYERS, M.D. OF LOGANSPORT, INDIANA
TAPE WORM OPERATION
To all whom it may concern:

Be it known that I, ALPHIUS MYERS, M.D., of Logansport, in the county of Cass and state of Indiana, have invented a new and improved surgical process for the removal of tapeworms or other worms from the stomach and intestines; and I do hereby declare that the following is a full, clear, and exact description of the same.

My invention consists in the removal of tape worms from the stomach or intestines by causing the patient to swallow a bait in a trap of any suitable construction that will catch the worm when he seizes the bait, and enable him to be withdrawn from the patientís mouth by a string which is attached to the trap for the purpose before being swallowed.

The invention is not limited to the particular construction of the trap employed, as it is probable that there are many different ways in which a trap may be constructed for the purpose, though I have performed my invention successfully with a trap composed of an exterior and interior cylinder, the former being closed at its ends and containing within it the latter, which contains the bait, each having an opening of suitable size to admit the head of the worm on one side. When the trap is set, preparatory to being swallowed the two holes are brought opposite to each other, so as to enable the worm to seize the bait in the interior cylinder, and are thus secured by a catch, but when the worm, in eating the bait, agitates the interior cylinder, it escapes from the catch and is caused by a spring to be moved, so as to catch him between one edge of the hole in the outer cylinder and the opposite edge of the hole in the cylinder and hold him till drawn out by the withdrawal of the trap.

The process of removal is conducted in the following manner: The patient is put upon a strict course of diet for several days, and in some cases from five to six and even seven days, without any nourishment whatsoever, but water to allay thirst. After this the worm becomes very hungry and will draw himself imnto the stomach by an instinct which belongs to all species of worms, and which causes them, when not finding sufficient nourishment in the bowels, to ascend into the stomach, and even sometimes into the throat. After the fast the trap is baited with any nutritious food - as, for instance, cheese - and attached to a small cord or line. It is then swallowed, and thus introduced into the stomach. The cord is fastened to some conspicuous place about the patient, who is left to his ease from about six to twelve hours, and during this time the worm will have seized the bait and have been caught by the head or neck. The capture of the worm will either be felt by the patient or ascertained by the motion which will be visible in the cord. The patient should rest for a few hours after the capture, and then by gentle pulling at the cord the trap and worm will with ease and perfect safety be withdrawn. This ends the process, after which a proper course of diet is necessary to recruit the patient.

If the worm be not ensnared with the first twelve hours after swallowing the bait the trap must be withdrawn and the bait again properly adjusted and introduced as before, and the process repeated from time to time until the capture is effected.

What I claim as my invention, and desire to secure by Letters Patent, is - The process herein described of removing tape or other worms from the stomach or intestines by means of a trap which is baited and swallowed by the patient, and is caused to capture them by the seizure of the bait.

ALPHEUS MYERS, M.D.


Witnesses:
John H. Sowers
John J. Swale

How Do You Know When You're Crazy?

How do you know when you're looney bin certified crazy? If you are wondering if you've gone off the deep end, does that mean that you're actually sane? If you're actually crazy would this typically involve a polka dotted monkey following you around playing the accordion, or could it be more subtle? The reason I ask, is a dream I had last night, was so disturbing that I cannot seem to shake it even after 24 hours. I'm rational, I'm logical, and it seems a bit crazy to fret so much about a dream.

Yet, last night I dreamt of going for a walk in the woods, and witnessing something very unpleasant. The dream was extremely vivid and remains so, but I would rather not go into details. I woke up in the middle of the night with a start and screaming, "Do not go into the woods!" It was a scary dream, and it took quite a while to compose myself, and gradually fall back to sleep. Upon awakening in the morning, and enjoying my coffee, I wasn't remembering the dream at all. As I began to get ready to go, suddenly a startled "Do not go into the woods!" came into my mind, seemingly out of nowhere, and I began to recall the dream.

It makes me wonder am I just a little crazy, a victim of a bad dream and nothing more, or could it be some kind of warning? Just to be on the safe side, I'm not going into the woods, indefinitely. Fortunately, I haven't seen the polka dotted monkey just yet.

Are you looking for uranium?

United Nuclear has a website selling uranium ore (what I like to call the Ahmadinejad special), nuclear isotopes, and uranium glass. They have a huge variety of chemicals such as potassium hydroxide, aluminum, aerogel, calcium metal, copper nitrate, tin metal, ammonium dichromate, and mercury metal. You don't need any credentials, permits, or license to purchase from them, just a Paypal account.

Is this dangerous and crazy?? Yeah, probably. Hey, I thought making smoke bombs was illegal? Maybe not, on the United Nuclear website they indicate it's legal. They also have chemical experiment plans such as making nitrous oxide, make pure sand, start a fire with water, and uranium extraction from ore.

Who would've thunk it?

Practical End Of Times Preparation

I was reading some conspiracy websites today with a mixed reaction. Some of it's just downright funny, and my reaction ranges from "No Way!" to "Oh my G-d, you've got to be kidding, really?" For years and years, there are folks who claim the end of the world is coming, and eventually they will probably get the date right. Just that one time. Right now is a shaky time for the world, a great atmosphere for conspiracy theories to flourish. I won't pretend to know whether any of them are true or not, but if there are any elements of truth in them, I decided to create a handy quick reference guide to the end of times!

1. Apparently, it would be a very good idea to join FreeMasonry, while you still have the chance. They are believed to be a secret society that is directly involved in controlling, manipulating, and directing the world’s leaders to develop a New World Order. They don't seem to be THAT secretive, since I was able to find information on how to join with the power of the Google. If you can't beat them, why not join them?

2. This ones a no-brainer, but make sure you hoard lots and lots of food and water. This way you can avoid making dangerous trips to loot neighboring grocery stores. When total devastation and doom arrive at your doorstep, you can be totally happy munching on your "Little Debbie" snack cake.

3. Get a gun! The only thing better than a gun at the end of times, is lots of guns. From what I've been told, this will help immensely when the masses try to break in to steal your bags of gold coins, and to fight in the resistance of the government imposed martial law and the resulting prison camps.

4. Paper money will only be useful to keep those campfire going, when you're desperately trying to stay warm. Gold and silver will be the standard for all of your end of times shopping needs.

5. If you do believe martial law will be imposed to oppress the masses, now would be the perfect time to join the military or police force. In these times of uncertainty wouldn't you rather be on the side that imposes vs. being imposed upon? Of course you would, besides you'll get free survival training, and be all that you can be.

The end of times ain't so bad, it's not like the end of the world or anything, or oh yeah never mind.